For many people, Valentine’s Day is seen as a day dedicated to love and romance.
Couples exchange gifts, flowers and heartfelt messages, and the day is widely portrayed in media as a celebration of romantic relationships.
But for those of us who are single, Valentine’s Day can bring about a different set of emotions, including feelings of loneliness and exclusion.
Unrealistic expectations
Promotions around Valentine’s Day typically portray an idealised version of love, filled with grand gestures and perfect relationships.
This can create unrealistic expectations and pressures for everyone, including those in relationships, but it can be particularly challenging for people who are single.
By bombarding us with messages that equate love with material possessions or expensive experiences, Valentine’s Day can make those of us who are single feel as though we’re missing out on something essential.
This fear of missing out (FOMO) can all too easily lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt as we question our self-worth or feel judged for not being part of the idealised happy couple.
Valentine’s Day can serve to highlight what’s going wrong in life. If you’ve got an existing mental health problem, or you’ve just broken up with someone, are single, have just lost someone, or you’re having problems in your relationship, you might have trouble coping with Cupid’s Big Day.
Human Focus: Valentine’s Day Tips for Mental Health
Mental health challenges
Comparing our own situation to others’ seemingly perfect lives can trigger a range of negative emotions, including loneliness, sadness and anxiety.
The emotional impact of Valentine’s Day can also be compounded by personal experiences. For anyone who has recently gone through a breakup or are grieving the loss of a partner, the day can be particularly painful, as memories of past Valentine’s Days spent with a loved one can resurface, intensifying feelings of sadness and loss.
And for those of us who have experienced rejection or unrequited love, the period around Valentine’s Day can be a particularly challenging time as we’re reminded of our emotional wounds.
Emotional responses to Valentine’s Day can also be shaped by social media as platforms are flooded with posts showcasing romantic gestures, gifts and celebrations. While usually intended to share joy, these can have the unintended effect of making single people feel left out and inadequate, as it can all too easily seem that everyone else is happier and more fulfilled than we are.
But, as the charity Mind points out, it’s important to remember that we often only see what other people want to share about their lives and that things are not always what they seem from the outside. 2
Five ways to cope with Valentine’s Day
For those of us not in a romantic relationship, it’s important to have strategies in place to manage the negative emotions that Valentine’s Day can bring.
Here are some techniques to help you, or someone you know, cope with Valentine’s Day:
1 – Being kind to ourselves. Whether that’s taking a relaxing bath, reading a good book or indulging in a favourite hobby, it’s important to practise self-care and find some ‘me’ time.
Meditation and mindfulness can help reduce anxiety and negative thought patterns, while physical exercise releases mood-enhancing endorphins.
2 – Getting together with friends and family, either in person or virtually, and celebrating genuine connections over expensive gestures can provide emotional support and help us shake off those feelings of loneliness.
3 – Taking a break from social media platforms or unfollowing accounts that trigger negative emotions can help us avoid negative thoughts and avoid the temptation to compare ourselves to others.
4 – Reflecting on the things we’re grateful for, whether big or small, and using those thoughts to cultivate a positive mindset.
5 – Seeking professional help with mental health from a therapist or counsellor. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore and process emotions, develop coping strategies and build resilience.
Appreciate the positives
It’s not all doom and gloom!
Ultimately, Valentine’s Day is what individuals make of it. By shifting the focus from social expectations to personal values and wellbeing, those of us who are single can create our own meaningful and positive experiences.
Embracing self-love, celebrating important relationships and finding joy in everyday moments can transform Valentine’s Day into a day of empowerment and self-celebration.
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Here at MTS Psychological Health, I am passionate about your mental health and emotional wellbeing. Don’t suffer psychological issues in silence: get in touch and discover how I can help you to alleviate a range of anxiety and depression symptoms from mild to severe presentations.
We can discuss the best clinical way to alleviate your suffering, which may be either through a course of psychoanalytic psychotherapy or with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique / Tapping) and Aromatherapy, so you can enjoy life to the full again.
References
1 – Human Focus: Valentine’s Day Tips for Mental Health
2 – Mind: Valentine’s day and mental health
Further reading
Nuffield Health: Valentine’s Day and mental health: expert advice on what to focus on
Young Minds: Messages for anyone dreading Valentine’s Day
UK Addiction Treatment Centres: Finding the Love Within: Combatting Valentine’s Day Depression
Mental Health in Business: Valentine’s Day and Mental Health: Beyond the Chocolates and Roses
Talk for Health: How do you really feel about Valentine’s Day?